What a nightmare it was. So much so that I returned early!

Things did not bode well when organisation (which was not under our control, I must add) started going into free-fall the day before we were due to leave. Kenai and I had elected to travel down by coach in order to avoid congestion charges, and so that I was able to drink without worry etc. Kenai and I left in good time…only to discover that two of the three lanes into town had been closed off (heaven knows why!). We missed our coach by 5-10 minutes. ARGHHHHHHH!

This had happened to so many people that the travel agency people altered our tickets without a quibble or charging us (bless them!). However, this detour involved two large suitcases on wheels, a heavy backpack and lots of fucking stairs. We finally get on the coach and arrive in London at gone 7pm (only 3 hours later than planned!). GRRRRRRRRR!

Having re-arranged an important meeting, we endeavour to travel to stay with Kenai’s friends….only to discover that the train is “not as advertised”, and we have headed miles in the wrong direction after having negotiated a stupid amount of fucking stairs. *SCREAAAAAM*

Being sensible, I suggest that we meet Kenai’s friends in Brixton and attend Mass/Torture Garden with them as this will solve several problems at once and give us a lovely lead in to Torture Garden’s Birthday Ball the next night. This of course involved more fucking stairs.

The impression that Mass left Me with is recorded in the review I wrote for SinSearch. Suffice it to say, I was so disappointed in it that after a few further problems were encountered, I elected to skip TG’s Birhtday Ball and come home early! NOT something I do very often. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it. If I start a book, I finish it. I’m that kind of person.

One of the worst aspects of Mass was the fact that there were only two types of music playing: “cyber goth/industrial” in two rooms and “what the bloody hell was that?” in the playroom (playroom! HA!). So I couldn’t even have a club night out if I wasn’t going to get a BDSM night out! Also, guess what? Yes, nine MORE flights of fucking stairs! *SCRRRRRREAAAAMMMMM*

The shows that TG put on periodically throughout the night were visually pleasing and kinky-sexy, the staff enforcing the door policy did so in an intelligent manner, the bar staff were prompt and polite and the toilet & cloakroom attendants helpful. Oh yes, and Kenai looked hot as hell in his new leather mouth mask, pvc laced trousers and wolf-slash top (and the scratches and slice marks I graced him with! LOL!). End of good-ish part. Really. There IS no more to it.

As in all venues, some of the attendees were lovely (waves at N and B from Friday! Glad I met you!) and some were utter arseholes!  LOL! One has learned that you don’t help yourself to this Lady’s backside and expect not to be held by the throat while I explain! (Kenai sniggered openly over the poor lamb’s terrified shoulder! LMAO!).

Glad to be home and not going up any more “FFS! There’s more fucking stairs”!

Mistress

x

Thought the best place to start this would be, well… at the start, cliché I know but it is the most memorable moment of my sub existence. Have you ever met someone and felt a strange attraction? You know it shouldn’t be as you haven’t met them before and hardly know them, but you are drawn to them. That is what it was like when I was knelt there, and She lifted my chin and looked down into my eyes, and what seemed like a loving, but evil smile came across Her face. Now after a few sessions I’ve heard of other subs believing that they are in love with a Dom/me, but after many discussions I have come to realise that the bond created with a sub and a Dom/me can be close to that of love, as it is a form of relationship with the amount of effort put in, care, how much the Dom/me can read and know the sub, the open trust and communication built up, and the only frame of reference we have are the feelings of love, more times than not in a ‘nilla relationship..

 The warm sinking I had when Ma’am first played me, wanting to sink into Her embrace as She brought my skin alive, and the only contact I got was the pads of Her fingers or Her nails drawing across me, my body pushing back as far as the bonds allowed, aching and arching trying to fulfil that contact, but not succeeding. That feeling was like that of missing a caress when you have been apart. 

I have become more aware now, and know that the chemicals released in the body are similar those released in moments of attraction, and can fuel the same emotions. I find as long as you are aware that this is happening and refrain from declaring something short of your undying love for the Dom/me then things will go well. Many Dom/mes have had to back away for the sub’s own good when this happens. The sub doesn’t understand why, believing the feelings are mutual.