While perusing the boards on Informed Consent it struck Me how intolerant we often are of each other as human beings. OK, so something that is stressing someone else out that wouldn’t make you turn a hair. But to people things are proportionate. If the the worst thing they have had to face is splitting up with a partner it’s going to feel a genuinely awful event. If you have had to hold your partner while they die, splitting up will seem painful but not the end of the world. Your life experience will have taught you how to deal with events that are more traumatic than the other person.

There is also a huge variation in the way that we deal with things. I’m aware, for example, that My personal reactions are unusual in that I tend to deal with a crisis very calmly and then get the emotional blast later, while others tend to be hit with the emotional impact at the time - making them freeze up, fight irrationally or run away with their problem chasing after them. It took  Me years to realise that My  reaction was unusual and that other’s didn’t respond in the same manner. It doesn’t make any of us wrong, just different.

Next time you are about to flame someone on a discussion board, stop and think for a few minutes first. Are they really being a wussy drama queen, or is their frame of reference different to yours? Does it matter what they have said in the past? Have they grown and changed over time and been brave enough to share this process? If you really think they are being a dick (and they’re not hurting anyone else), why are you bothering to say something? After all, who really IS the dick then?

Provocatively

Mistress

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