I had an interesting conversation recently where the subject of who serves who in a D/s relationship came up. Many Dominants would maintain that They serve no-one but Themselves, and that Their submissive serves Them. However, I would argue that the exchange which is negotiated so honestly and openly in this type of relationship does not bestow service more fully upon one person. Rather this openness ensures that, for a change, the exchange of service is actually more even.

Does not a Dominant serve when They enjoy playing with Their submissive? Who does the work in a play scene for the most part? Is it the submissive held in place by restraints receiving the sensations and stimulation’s they enjoy? Or is it the Dominant who lovingly secures the submissive and comes up with ever more imaginative methods to stimulate Their submissive?

Who gains when the submissive massages the feet of the Dominant, or performs some other duty? Is it the submissive who gets their need to serve Another met? Or is it the Dominant with pampered toes?

Which is the protected and which the protector? Does the Dominant who ensures that the submissive is held safe after a journey into subspace act as protector? Or is it the slave who ensures that all of the Dominants needs are met and stands between Them and everyday stress?

Who betrays their position?Is it the Dominant who ignores the use of a safeword by a submissive? Or is it the submissive who fails to check the health, boundaries and mental state of the Dominant they are about to play with?

Who holds responsibility? The Dominant who ensures that a scene is conducted safely while generating that most blissful of interactions? Or the submissive who elects where and with whom they lay their submission open?

Finally, who displays a lack of service? Is it when a Dominant decries Their submissive for voicing needs and desires, and clams the sub is “topping from the bottom”, and perhaps without knowing prevents the growth of the submissive? Or is it in the ignorance of a submissive for failing to accept the fact that their Dominant is a whole human being, and perceives any emotion other than obvious strength as “weakness”?

Who really serves?

Mistress

x

• Slave R - you have done well to maintain contact, good boy
• little toes - just remember how pretty I look with a knife in My hands! LOL!
• kunt - thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery so I can be cruel to you soon!
• silk - I have a beautiful silken noose with your name on it boy!
• kenai - My masochistic darling….your flesh is Mine! x
• SwitchD - I’m so looking forward to playing with you….kinky etch-a-sketch! YUMMY!
• Norty boy - Monday will amuse Me no end I am sure
• skool boy - see you on Thursday when you’ll collect your punishment!
• Golden Girrl - enjoy your time in My Chambers!
• Miss Behave - looking forward to having you under My hand again
• Cover Me Totally - I will play you soon, I promise!
• Caroline & Velvet - things will not be quite so chaotic soon!
• Whelp - I’m looking forward to training you properly in July.
• mara & nosa - shift your asses you idle whores and hurry up home! LOL!
• Rubber switch - your devotion and loyalty to Me do you credit

Research Support Thanks & De-briefing

I’d like to thank each and every one of the 155 participants who helped Me with My research.

The research was to show a correlation between personality types and tolerance levels. Ideally in research we let our respondents know the full details BEFORE they engage in research so that their consent is 100% informed. However, under certain circumstances this would “spoil” the results and in these situations a “de-brief” must be made available for participants. For example, had I said that I was looking for a correlation between assertive personalities and  tolerance levels towards certain issues, people answering the questions may have tried to protect their self-image by answering in a more or less tolerant fashion. I hope this  explains why I was unable to give everyone the full facts at the time?

The test used to determine personality type is called the Global 5/SLOAN test. The brief for this piece of  work stated I had to use a recognised personality test and then ask My own questions in regard to attitudes and tolerance levels. I felt the SLOAN test was a good choice if I wanted to be able to add the results into My dissertation research. Further details and an  explanation of the SLOAN scale can be found by following the link.

The reason I was so pressured is that for some reason the University failed to tell Me the submission date. In order to avoid having to do a re-sit and mess about with funding etc in September, I’ve had to perform a miracle of getting the research done (thank you again all you angels who  helped!), then gather the results and correlate the findings and produce a report in two days flat!

I will be doing further research across the year towards My dissertation (over a year away). I’ve finally got a tutor who will back Me on doing research into BDSM which will debunk a LOT of pre-existing notions. The University has raised several “concerns”- this means that they don’t want to grade My work! Excuses have included “no-one to mark it” = I asked some people I know who happen to be well thought of in BDSM and hold degrees for support, and got it…NER!, “too little research into the area” = I  was given generous support in how to get around this by a kind Informed Consent Member and now have a tutor supporting Me… NER NER! “it’s a Masters level area” = OK then, I’ll work with the tutor and now the concept fits into dissertation level with room for extension into Masters…NER! NER! NER!

I have passion for this area and it’s about time REAL research was done in the RIGHT manner to display the Kinkdom as it REALLY is rather than the perception that we’re all cold faced sods, weirdos or porn stars! I think that the definition of BDSM and transvestism as mental health issues are wrong and that the drives behind these types of expression are what may/may not need examination. For some there are indeed underlying problems which cause them to express themselves in such a fashion, for many the repression of such desires is what causesthem to have issues. Only by doing the research and  having  the “correct” letters to My name will I ever be able to raise a voice that is heard outside of the Kinkdom and taken seriously.

In closing, I’d like to again express My genuine gratitude to those of you who were kind enough to participate. Thank you so very, very much!

Appreciatively

Mistress

x

Had a lovely session today with dear “little toes“. he had a fantastic time and went quite deeply into la-la land (sub-space). As it turns out, this was down to luck not  judgement! When “little toes” was completing his paperwork for Me, he ‘accidentally’ left knife play as an option. Now, I say ‘accidentally’ with good cause…you see, “little toes” upper brain thinks he’s terrified of knives, where as his lower brain thinks they are hot/sexy/yummy/etc. I know this for fact…it was difficult to miss in fact! LOL!

I’m sure he would have mentioned this to Me but for two things, one was outstandinglymaking it’s point in a clearly non-verbal manner (LOL!) and the other might possibly have been linked to the  gag very securely placed in his mouth. In view of  the response I was getting (the one very proud one already mentioned and the absence of safe-signal) I happily carried on.

Dear “little toes” face  was a study  when I showed him not only his unmarked flesh, but the knife I’d been using. I blame Warlock & Cosmic for leading Me further into this area of bladed temptation! LOL! Although Dave the Butcher has done nothing to slow Me up either! I’m a dear sweet innocent little sadist who is surrounded by people who are  very bad influences on Me…..*honest*!

So it seems that this happy accident has taught My sweet “little toes” a few things:

1. Check paperwork THREE times as you never know if you will be unable to verbalise things to Mistress!
2. “little toes” thinks he’s terrified of knives, but in fact finds them a huge turn on!
3. Mistress really doesn’t stop if you beg or whine, just like She warns you!
4. Happy ‘accidents’ like this amuse Mistress hugely (more so when eyes go wide in fear when shown the knife used afterwards)! LOL!

Today has contained another happy accident for Me too. It seems that some confusion over phone numbers has brought Me a new sub who sounds like he will be fun to play with.

I’m delighted to announce that I am working  closely with BDSM activist group the Consenting Adult Action Network to create a special edition United Kinkdom Twisted-T for them. All profits from the sale of the limited edition t-shirt will go towards funding campaigns to protect freedom of thought for the BDSM community.

Once the design is finalised it will be released here and on several sites where I maintain profiles for purchase so you can help to show your support, fund action and have something wonderful to wear to munches too!

Freely thinking

Mistress

x

P.S. The “United Kinkdom” is now formally recognised as My creation under intellectual copyright.