As a Domina I get asked to own people frequently, often as an initial contact or very soon after I’ve started talking to someone. Obviously, being responsible, and being a Lifestyle Mistress who takes such things very seriously, I refuse them.

However, it occurs to Me that perhaps the subs themselves need to think a little more about the request they make and how early they make it.  Some points to consider before you request ownership:

1. WHY do you wish THIS particular Dominant to own you?
2. Do you accept the full responsibility of being owned? The work, the dedication and the loyalty required are significant.
3. Do you want to be owned because you feel that the Dominant will then make all your decisions for you and that your life will become easier?
4. Where does the Dominant draw Their authority from?
5. What gifts can you bring to the Dominant to make Them look favourably on your request? And no, saying “i’ll do whatever You say and take whatever You want to give” is nowhere near close enough. Dominants get around 5+ such approaches like this every day!
6. What is your understanding of being owned?
7. How do you hope the Dominant will behave towards you if They own you?
8. What is the Dominants expectations of you if They do decide to own you?
9. Do you get along as human beings?

Until these very fundamental issues are addressed it is pointless to attempt to be owned unless you are happy at a much shallower end of D/s interaction, where basically things are light hearted roll play for titillation. This is where genuine members of the United Kinkdom consider the “spank & wank” brigade exist.

Are you happy to be swimming in these sparkling shallow waters? Or would you prefer to have the option to dive more deeply into all that a D/s interaction can be, and perhaps explore the intensity of ownership fully? If you want to be taken seriously, then remember to take your submission seriously and to value it… that way when you kneel before a geniuine Dominant requesting ownership, you will have something of worth to offer to Them.