Held safe in bliss

Following My recent posts on emulation and plastic dommes, I’ve been asked for advice on how to select a Dom/me to serve.

So, how do you check to see if the Dom/me you feel you want to serve is genuine? here’s a brief guide:

1. Can you contact Them and discuss matters?
2. Will They use safewords during an initial session? If they don’t, they are frankly too far up their own arse to take either your submission or safety seriously.
3. Can they provide links to community sites they participate in? If not, how “lifestyle”/genuine are they? Does anyone else in the community know them?
4. How consistent are they?
5. How effective is their use of their first language? If it’s grammatically or contextually incorrect, the chance is that they have “lifted” chunks of their site from someone else. The odd typo is understandable - more so if you are reading a site in a second language. However, huge errors in a primary/mother language indicate a lack of comprehension and inattention to detail.
6. If they use “big words” and offer considered ideas, can they expand and/or clarify these to you on request?

Held safe in bliss

It’s not often I will come even this close to “naming and shaming” someone in the community. However, much to My own deep amusement, it has been brought to My attention that another “domme” is lifting chunks of My sites (which I write personally) and using them for herself. Granted, she attempts to “disguise” her lack of originality by “rephrasing” some things; but for the most part, she lifts both My terminology and ethos. Bless her unimaginative mind

The honestly amusing thing is that this was brought to My attention by serves who have attended her and found her….erm….. “wanting”, and have elected to attend Me and since become regular serves of Mine. This brings Me back to the point I made in My post about plastic dommes, please do bother to check out the Dom/me you are hoping to scene with thoroughly.

Remember: your safety and enjoyment is primarily YOUR responsibility. When you elect to submit to Another, you have chosen to place both these gifts into Their hands. Any one who shows such a lack of imagination (as well as such a poor grasp of English! LOL!) should be treated with suspicion.

Flattered

Mistress

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I had an interesting conversation with a dear and trusted friend of Mine recently. We are both concerned with the nasty outbreak of what we term “plastic-dommes” or “escorts with crops”. It seems that many young, and frankly attractive, girls are setting themselves up as Dominas.

While they are lovely to look at their practice is often dubious. Their comprehension remains shallow of the things that they do, and they “learn” their Domination techniques by rote, rather than holding the deep and heartfelt understanding a real Domina would.

Many who attend Me have been to see “plastic-dommes” and report being stood up, finding that the “plastic-domme” often has no idea of how to weild a cane or flogger, and some have even been sporting some wounds which rather than come from hard based consensual play, instead come from practice that is not only poor but dangerous.

The main concern that My friend and I have is that of safety of practice. Many submissive men elect to visit these pretty little baubles to be “dominated”, and understandably so - they ARE cute! However, it’s only a matter of time before there is a serious injury from one of these “escorts with crops”. Worryingly some of them are now working from well known “dungeons” where there are more than domme in some well known cities. Eventually they will bring many who are genuine and work in teams, such as Twisted Sisters, as well as those who are independant like Myself into dis-repute.

I can only urge those of you who are seeking domination to choose with wisdom and not just your eyes and cock!

Safely

Mistress

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Every now and then I get a moment that is so utterly perfectly heavenly to not share would be way too sadistic even for Me!

The other day I was mentoring a friend who wishes to explore her top aspect. As the plaything she was using that day had a desire to be forcibly controlled by an Amazonian Queen, she asked if I would be kind enough to take the lead at the beginning so she could observe the techniques I use.

Having distracted the plaything, I secured his arms with delightful strap I keep for all sorts of purposes, then “tied” his hands behind his back. A good bit of psychological playtime later and he was “ignored” to give him time to escape his bonds. The utterly delightful moment came when I was able to bring him to his knees using just one of his fingers! The realisation he was well and truly fucked made the most beautiful expression pass over his face. Oh it still makes Me smile even now!

I then re-tied his hands, pointed out there was a huge difference between the two ties I’d used and that nothing happens in My Chambers I haven’t planned. We required him to be seated, which he did like a lamb. I gave him a choice when it came to his feet…he could either put them where I wanted them or I could explain with cocktail sticks under his toe-nails! LOL! The poor child was so afraid at points his mouth was obviously dry! Needless to say he elected to place his feet where I wanted them! See, I can be kind!

Generously

Mistress

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As I’m sure some of you are aware, I have many and varied friends in the Kinkdom. One of them put Me in touch with a well known search engine owner who was looking for occasional bloggers involved in the Dark Dance to add to the blog attached to His site.

My own blog is publicised there, and it turns out that He’s been keeping an eye on My style of posting. He’s asked me to write the odd article about various topics, though to keep things brief there and link to the more extensive thoughts I express and explore here.

Quite a compliment! I’ve said that, time allowing, I’d be glad to. I do think there are some areas of BDSM which should be made publicly available, like “How to Play Safely”, “How to Select a Safe Play Partner”, etc. This becomes more important as legislation starts to tighten on our community and at the same time BDSM enters a heightened state of general social acceptance (yes, vanilla land is starting to embrace the edge of our Darkness!).

Watch this space for more news!

Editorially

Mistress

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