As the sun sets
It gives way to the moon
Gives way to the darkness
And so sets the mood
The night is deceiving
Thus setting the pace
Calming the psychotic
Provoking the sane
Our hidden agenda’s
Have now come to light
Just as the day
Has now come to night
Yet what is the difference
Between night and day
If honesty shows
Just as light fades away

Hedge

Let’s examine what submission actually is first. The dictionary defines it as:

So here we can see what the concept entails. However, rather than being a selfless act, it becomes an increasingly selfish one for many. Consider the following phrases and their implications:

1. “I want to obey You” - think up things for me to do
2. “I want to submit to Your will” - do things to me
3. “I want to serve You” - more demand for instruction
4. “Teach me” - lest the individual has to think for themselves?

The Dark Dance is ideally a journey of self discovery as much as it is about Dominance and submission, irrespective of which role you engage in. It is never an exercise in the abdication of responsibility. To submit to the will of Another is to accept an additional responsibility, not to relinquish those which already belong to you. It is not an excuse to relate everything to your own perspective either. In serving submissively, should the submissive spend their time making demands, or should they be dedicating their time to making the Dominants life less stressful? All too often submissives convey a needy, childish and selfish attitude to Dominants, along with an egocentric display of self-focus.

If a Dominant is having a bad day, They are having a bad day. It does not mean that your service is at fault. After all, why do you think you are so very important that your actions are the cause of such emotion in the Dominant? Rather than bemoan the fact that you are a worthless submissive and then demand reassurance, where is the support for the Dominant? The exchange which takes place is meant to be a mutual one, so where is the caring from the bottom side of things? Where does a submissive as described above offer support to their Dominant? Where is the service? The reason you can not see it is because the submissive I’ve described is a greedy, sucking emotional void.

Service means thinking of ways to aid and assist the Dominant, not see how many more demands can be placed upon Them when They really are just not in the mood. All too often the submissive forces the Dominant to become less human by pushing Them to remain in a pre-defined role created by the submissive, rather than affording Them space to be Themselves in. This attitude is often reflected in profile write ups where the submissive will list all the things that they want, and never make mention of the gifts of  service they will offer to a Dominant.

While it’s good to maintain clear communication (most Dominants charge extra for mind-reading), it’s also important to nurture and support the human being who is standing in the Dominant position. If They are in a poor mood, the supportive reaction is to see if there is any aid that can be offered, to ascertain if the Dominant wishes to talk about things and to then attempt to lighten the mood. Yet all too often the submissives response is to wonder what they have done to cause such an effect and demand reassurance from an already stressed Dominant.

Think about the way you respond in conversations. You know if this describes you. If you can see your own reactions here, then you now have the answer as to why you are finding it hard to gain a position with a Dominant. While your submission is so selfish in focus, then there is little to recommend you as a person to Another, let alone as a submissive.

Held safe in bliss

It’s not often I will come even this close to “naming and shaming” someone in the community. However, much to My own deep amusement, it has been brought to My attention that another “domme” is lifting chunks of My sites (which I write personally) and using them for herself. Granted, she attempts to “disguise” her lack of originality by “rephrasing” some things; but for the most part, she lifts both My terminology and ethos. Bless her unimaginative mind

The honestly amusing thing is that this was brought to My attention by serves who have attended her and found her….erm….. “wanting”, and have elected to attend Me and since become regular serves of Mine. This brings Me back to the point I made in My post about plastic dommes, please do bother to check out the Dom/me you are hoping to scene with thoroughly.

Remember: your safety and enjoyment is primarily YOUR responsibility. When you elect to submit to Another, you have chosen to place both these gifts into Their hands. Any one who shows such a lack of imagination (as well as such a poor grasp of English! LOL!) should be treated with suspicion.

Flattered

Mistress

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One of My favourite quotes, and so very appropriate to those who love this beautiful Dark Dance as I do.

For those who find their breath is taken away by the sheer beauty of submission as it’s light graces the eyes of those who kneel. Those who read the delicate signals sent out and can offer a steel hand in a velvet glove to guide others to a happier place. Those who appreciate attention to detail, a curve and turn of waist, a smile of delicious malice combined with joy as it passes the face of their Dominant. Those who have the courage, strength and bravery to kneel naked, with their soul bared and hope they will be claimed. And those who are honoured by the honesty, humbled by the trust and have the strength to cherish the gift of submission laid at their feet. All these people will see the value of the quote above.

Whimsically

Mistress

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I *had* to share this insight with you. My dear friend Hedge and I were discussing Borderline Personality Disorder and the research that is being done on it.

“As with other mental disorders, the causes of BPD are complex and unknown”

She observed to Me: how can it be complex if it’s unknown? If they dont know yet it could be simple as hell and they just haven’t realised

Does one contemplate a completed suicide so you have attempted suicide to fall back on???????

Isn’t it reassuring to be cared for by the medical profession??????

Chuckling

Mistress

x

A new wallpaper entitled “Velvet Glove” has been released in the Download section of My Twisted Mistress website.

Enjoy!

Mistress

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